Spontaneity

I’m the most organized- unorganised person ever. You see, I’m obsessed with having everything under control, with planning out everything and making sure everything goes as planned, on schedule, but yet, I am the laziest person ever and most times I don’t follow up with my plans and I end up depressed and sad for not meeting up.

When I was younger, I wrote a life to-do list. I wrote what I was supposed to be doing at a particular age, and one day, while going through my things I found the book. Of course I haven’t accomplished half of the things I expected myself to have achieved and when I read the book more and more, I began sinking into deeper anxiety because I felt like I had failed myself.

Being my usual ‘Aderemi’ I began to sink deeper and deeper into depression and my anxiety was higher than usual.

I was scrolling through social media and then I came across a post about forgiving yourself and giving yourself a break, I decided to learn to forgive myself and give myself a break. I started by writing out all the things I had achieved, reminding myself of all the things I’ve prayed for that have materialized, and all the things that are coming to pass at the moment.

A few days after doing that, it was time for our general estate disposal when the waste management truck comes to pick up all our trash. I impulsively picked up the book and went out and threw at directly into the truck and smiled, I don’t know why I did that, but I know I felt relieved afterwards.

Published by AderemiChukwu

I love writing, I'm an equalist and a strong promoter of egalitarianism and Feminism. I hope to touch lives and make an impact in this world. I'm the next big thing.❤

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