“Unfavorable comments, ill sayings and blasphemy from others is inevitable, brace yourself and be you”.
I was confined in shame or maybe low self esteem some years back, although it still haunts me, and I fight it every time. Probably because I still have a trace of that thing that holds me back. It might be the people around me, or the vicinity I dwell in, or maybe the activities I engage in, or the thoughts I allow in.
I really don’t know, but each time I fight it, I fight it with the situation at hand, it might likely be in respect to how a person acted towards me or what a person said to me. I just find a way to help myself, a way to come out of that shell and conquer that fear, shame, pessimism.
There are people I shedded my charisma for, people I pleased, having to displease myself, and ended up being criticised, blamed or laughed at.
I found it difficult to learn a lesson concerning that, I was always ready to sacrifice anything, to avoid being blamed or mocked. I thought I would never be able to help myself, I thought I needed people to encourage me and love me before I could be able to see myself differently, before I would be able to know that self love needn’t to be superficial, I needed to love myself first, deeply, firmly and unalterably.
Some months later, I realized I belittled myself, I realized I wasn’t good enough because I caused it to be so, I was scared to love myself first, it was like I needed people’s approval or some generated love before I could appreciate myself.
The reason I still get shadowed by this low self esteem, might be because some wounds are yet to heal or probably because I view too much of the scars left.
Wounds may heal, but it takes scars a long time to fade, at that process, love yourself, know yourself, embrace who you are, and appreciate the ‘You’ you are!