Day 11: Embracing Oneself (part b)

Embracing oneself.

“Unfavorable comments, ill sayings and blasphemy from others is inevitable, brace yourself and be you”.

I was confined in shame or maybe low self esteem some years back, although it still haunts me, and I fight it every time. Probably because I still have a trace of that thing that holds me back. It might be the people around me, or the vicinity I dwell in, or maybe the activities I engage in, or the thoughts I allow in.

I really don’t know, but each time I fight it, I fight it with the situation at hand, it might likely be in respect to how a person acted towards me or what a person said to me. I just find a way to help myself, a way to come out of that shell and conquer that fear, shame, pessimism.

There are people I shedded my charisma for, people I pleased, having to displease myself, and ended up being criticised, blamed or laughed at.

I found it difficult to learn a lesson concerning that, I was always ready to sacrifice anything, to avoid being blamed or mocked. I thought I would never be able to help myself, I thought I needed people to encourage me and love me before I could be able to see myself differently, before I would be able to know that self love needn’t to be superficial, I needed to love myself first, deeply, firmly and unalterably.

Some months later, I realized I belittled myself, I realized I wasn’t good enough because I caused it to be so, I was scared to love myself first, it was like I needed people’s approval or some generated love before I could appreciate myself.

The reason I still get shadowed by this low self esteem, might be because some wounds are yet to heal or probably because I view too much of the scars left.

Wounds may heal, but it takes scars a long time to fade, at that process, love yourself, know yourself, embrace who you are, and appreciate the ‘You’ you are!

~MADU IFEOMA

Published by AderemiChukwu

I love writing, I'm an equalist and a strong promoter of egalitarianism and Feminism. I hope to touch lives and make an impact in this world. I'm the next big thing.❤

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